How to not choke while performing at your next literary event

some tips and tricks from a poet who has both stunned and flubbed at various times throughout her career

Photo by Hailey Kean on Unsplash

How to not choke while performing at your next literary event

Choking. Goofing. Messing up. It happens to everyone and it happens to the best of us.

No matter how seasoned a performer is, mistakes can happen and nerves can get prickled and what should have been a seamless set can get flubbed big time. I’m not talking about a simple stutter or a momentary losing of one’s place on the page. I’m talking about straight up bombing it. Like, returning to your seat afterwards and wishing you had never been born levels of bad. An incessant replaying of the scene and what you should have done and what you would do if only you could go back and do it again.

Unfortunately, time travel does not exist but regret does. In order to help prevent that incredible sense of loss that only comes from trying and failing to properly express yourself in front of a live audience, I have prepared this little listicle of things to do (and not do) before stepping onto the grand stage and performing your heart out.

Do: prepare ahead of time. One cannot rest on the laurels of having done the damn thing hundreds of times before. Every event should be treated like the first time. Know exactly what you’re going to read beforehand, and have it ready, either printed out or bookmarked or in a fresh document in your google drive. If you’re not sure what you want to read, narrow your options down to what you’d feel most comfortable reading out loud and bring enough pieces that you can easily skip if the mood doesn’t feel right.

Don’t: wing it. Don’t just open up your notes app where it’s all completely disorganized forcing you to scroll and scroll to find the piece you want to read while people in the audience politely wait but we all know they’re thinking how long are we supposed to sit here quietly while this joker figures out what poem they’re going to read.

Do: practice ahead of time. It doesn’t matter how many times you’ve read whatever piece out loud, pick out your set then read it out loud and time yourself. You should know how much time you have to perform before you go to the reading, and if you don’t you should ask your host so that you can be ahead of the game.

Don’t: go over your alloted time. I don’t see this happen too often anymore, but it is so groan worthy when the host gives everyone 10-15 minutes and one reader decides, actually I’m going to read for 20-25. It’s obnoxious and it leaves such a foul impression on me. I think this might be one of those taboo topics that literary community members won’t bring up in fear of calling people out, but whatever. I hate it and it’s a bad look. Don’t be that person who thinks they deserve more time than other readers on the bill. This isn’t your book release party. You’re not the star.

Do: bring a friend. If you love to perform but sometimes get stagefright, bring a friend and instruct them to shout out a word of encouragement if they notice you getting nervous. Sometimes an earnest “you’re doing amazing sweetie” is all that it takes to get back into the flow.

Don’t: say “I’m nervous.” No one cares if you’re nervous. In fact, they probably expect everyone going up on stage to be a bit nervous. Admitting that you’re nervous, out loud, will only reinforce those feelings. Instead, take a deep breath, stand back from the mic, close your eyes, picture an open field or a vanilla milkshake or whatever thing you’re into that sets your mind at ease, and come back to it. People in the audience will think you’re doing performance art or something and instead of annoucing that you’re pissing your pants with trepidation, they will think you’re cool.

Do: get in the zone. You’re killing it. Tell yourself that before you go up and once you take the mic. Believing it will make it true.

Don’t: focus on the audience too much. Sometimes the audience claps after you finish a piece and sometimes they don’t. Sometimes they laugh at a joke and sometimes they hold it back because they’re not sure if they’re supposed to laugh. It shouldn’t make a difference to you. We all like to get that external validation, but don’t let it trip you up.

Do: get in the right mindset before you take the stage. Personally, I find that if I socialize before the show starts instead of quieting my thoughts and mentally preparing I won’t do as well. I need to relax and get in the right mood, and sometimes that means sitting alone and going over in my head what I plan on saying and what to emphasize and what jokes to make, etc. Socializing is easier and a deserved treat after a good performance. This may not apply to you, but it’s something to consider.

Don’t: get too down on yourself if you do mess up. It’s not the end of the world. You’ll have another chance to excel and it won’t be the last time you choke.

I’ve choked about three times. Once, I was extremely hungover (it was on the day I decided to get sober) and I was just not in the right headspace and I started reading a story and decided I just couldn’t do it, so I sat down without finishing. It wasn’t my proudest moment but it was a good wakeup call to quit drinking.

Another time, while on my first book tour, I was lovesick for this dumb boy I was penpals with and cried with snot streaming down my face while trying to read a story. I don’t think the audience cared (and there were only like three people in attendance), but it was another time that emotions kept me from completeing my set.

The third time was recent. I don’t know what was up with me. There was someone in the audience I get a bad vibe from and instead of concentrating on the people in attendance with whom I share mutual appreciation, I got too focused on what this person who probably doesn’t care at all about me had to think and it negatively impacted my performance. I stopped myself from finishing a poem (one of my usual bangers) because I thought “oh they probably think this is corny,” and then when I started scrolling my google drive doc it took me too long to find the poem I wanted to read and I kept apologizing for being nervous. I only ended up crushing one poem, and then I decided to sit down even though I still had another five minutes left in my set. It was very dumb and I felt bad about it for a few days, but it was also the catalytic event for this post so all’s well that ends well.

How do you prepare for an event? What helps when you feel some stage fright creeping in?