Everyone has a private life, a public life, and a secret life
My private life sits on the toilet, looks out at the yard through a rusty screen window, thinks every moment could be documented at some point, reflects on memories through rusted gauze, dreams up lyrics for a pop song that they will forget to write down after the butt is wiped and hands are washed.
My public life spends too much time online, replies to other people's comments on social media without much consideration, sees the whole thing as a game, whoever likes and responds first wins, and then feels bad when their interjections aren't well received, feels guilt when they remember these people are real.
My secret life is acutely self critical, forgets to drink water, stares down their own image in the mirror, massages the deep grooves forming on the sides of their mouth, wipes a bat in the cave with a piece of paper towel from the roll, says a prayer in their head, and stumbles outside for a smoke after another wasted day.